In the past I’ve posted about many topics. Bogus moving scams (CHAMPIONS MOVERS of FREMONT, CA), my hatred of Georgie W Bush, gay republicans, various religious stupidity, clueless travelers… and rest assured, I’ll keep posting about all that stuff.
But you know, one thing I don’t post about is corporate life. Don’t get excited just yet I’m not going to go spilling all the water cooler gossip (our water cooler is lonely). But something occurred to me today. Something that really drives me up the wall. Some people just don’t get e-mail. They just don’t fucking get it.
Let me explain. The purpose of an e-mail is simple. It’s a simple way for me to ask you a few questions that are possibly important but which are not important enough to warrant a phone call. In any given e-mail I am likely to ask you one or multiple questions.
And this is where people get all fucked up on me. Let me provide you with a (fake) example.
TO: GEORGE W. BUSH
FROM: THOMAS NIKL
SUBJECT: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Georgie-
It’s clear that you’re a retard but do you really have to dance at every event you attend these days? What kind of idiotic dance is that, anyway?
Also, we’re meeting for dinner next week so I may lambaste you in person, what is the address of the restaurant again, I’ve lost it?
Next, John McCain says he needs a hug- are you available this evening for a sleep over?
Lastly, we’d like to get started on the next round of tax cuts. How much do you think we should issue to the American public this time around?
Cheers,
Tom
Please note, audience, that I’ve asked five questions in this e-mail, though two are rhetorical. And here, to illustrate my point, is the infuriating response that I get from some people in the corporate environment.
TO: THOMAS NIKL
FROM: GEORGE W. BUSH
SUBJECT: RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thom-
let is send thems $600 agin.
W.
[In as dry a tone possible]
You sonofabitch.
