The Cynical Universe

PrezBush4Eva Hey, so, Wurld Bank… why is the WOLFMAN in troublez?
Tommer1982 Hi Georgie.
PrezBush4Eva Hi.
Tommer1982 Well, your “WOLFMAN” hooked up his girlfriend with a huge promotion.
PrezBush4Eva So?
Tommer1982 So?
PrezBush4Eva WOAH day-ja-vu.
Tommer1982 Ugh. So? The President of the World Bank isn’t there to give raises and promotions to his pals or girlfriends. It’s an ethical issue.
PrezBush4Eva Ethi-what?
Tommer1982 Ethics- moral rules… right and wrong… oh, nevermind, I’m wasting my time.
PrezBush4Eva
PrezBush4Eva I appoint buddiez all the time tho. Supreme Court, FEMA, etc, etc, etc…
Tommer1982 I know. It’s one of your biggest criticisms. Well, that and being a blundering idiot.
Tommer1982 In fact, speaking of which, is it a rule that your friends have to be as dumb or dumber than you?
PrezBush4Eva LOL LOL ur funnay.
Tommer1982 No, seriously.
PrezBush4Eva Dewd!!! I’m smart!!! I am juzt a bad test taker.
Tommer1982 What?
PrezBush4Eva That excuse werked in college.
Tommer1982 Grrr. You’re not in college anymore, Georgie.
PrezBush4Eva I kno.
PrezBush4Eva Things were easier than.
PrezBush4Eva I just drank and did coke and had my Dad bail me out.
Tommer1982 Dear God. Do you still do coke?
PrezBush4Eva Nopes. Karl told me to say nopes.
Tommer1982 Riiiiiight.
PrezBush4Eva So wut do I do about WOLFMAN?
Tommer1982 Honestly? It would probably be smart to ask him for his resignation.
PrezBush4Eva y?
Tommer1982 If you don’t you will lose even more support. Maybe go from a 25% approval to 22%.
PrezBush4Eva Is it like golf where lower numberz are betters?
Tommer1982 No, Georgie, I’m afraid low approval numbers mean most of the country thinks you’re a horrible president.
PrezBush4Eva
PrezBush4Eva Why?
Tommer1982 Mostly because you ruin everything you touch.
PrezBush4Eva you are mean!!!
Tommer1982 Aww, there there, Georgie. I’m just being honest.
PrezBush4Eva You still like me?
Tommer1982 I never liked you.
Tommer1982
PrezBush4Eva You ARE mean.
Tommer1982 Why do you ask my advice then?
PrezBush4Eva No one else talks to me.
PrezBush4Eva I am goings to go play on the internets.
Tommer1982 Have fun. talk to you later.
PrezBush4Eva l8r sk8r.

I was messing around online the other day and I saw President Bush pop online. We had a quick little IM conversation- just like the good old days. I thought it may amuse you all so here you go. Enjoy! 

Tommer1982: Hey Georgie wuts up?
PrezBush4Eva: Not much. Chillen in wite house. J00?
Tommer1982: Watching the news. You know your approval rating is at like 30 percent? Dude, that SUCKS.
PrezBush4Eva: O RLY? That suxors. What do you think I shud do for more peeps to like me?
Tommer1982: *shrugs*. Have you considered not being a craptastic president?
PrezBush4Eva: What u mean? I do a good job. Look I’m on the internets now 2!!
Tommer1982: George.
PrezBush4Eva: jes?
Tommer1982: The internet is NOT plural, ok?
PrezBush4Eva: Where did the other ones go?
Tommer1982: No, there were never any ‘other ones’. There’s always been just one.
PrezBush4Eva: I see. Has Secret Service been informed?
Tommer1982: Pretty sure they know. Yes.
PrezBush4Eva: k good. Hey Mom is making mac n cheese- you want sum?
Tommer1982: I’m in Cali, Georgie. How would I get to DC duhhhh
PrezBush4Eva: I’ll send Air Ferce 1 LOL LOL LOL.
Tommer1982: That’s alright- kind of a waste and with global warming and all.
PrezBush4Eva: global what?
Tommer1982: Nevermind. Look, Georgie. About your ratings. You wanna improve, right?
PrezBush4Eva: DUHHHHH
Tommer1982: Ok… let me think. What are you working on today?
PrezBush4Eva: MmmmmmmmmmmMMMMmmMMMMMM. brb
PrezBush4Eva: LOLZ. Jeb sent me a funny emails.
Tommer1982: Focus, Georgie.
PrezBush4Eva: LOL Chill. Ok, work. Ummm.
PrezBush4Eva: Ok, today. Agenda. Iran’s Nukulur Porgram….
PrezBush4Eva: So…Nor…Sou… Uhm. One of the Korea’s Nukulur Porgram.
PrezBush4Eva: North. It is North. Because of the North Pole and Santa and Communism and Red Suits. North.
Tommer1982: WTF???
PrezBush4Eva: Wut Else… Oh YEAH, Meeting with Condi. HOLLER. She crackz me up, duder.
Tommer1982: Ok, ok. I get the point. Foreign Policy stuff today, good.
Tommer1982: Do you have any plans?
PrezBush4Eva: VETO! VETO! VETO!
Tommer1982: Georgie, these aren’t bills. They’re, like, policies and stuff. You think about them. Make decisions. You know.
PrezBush4Eva: ?????????? English plz kthx!! LOL
Tommer1982: God you’re stupid.
PrezBush4Eva: ZOMG i thought we were BFF!!! :-****(
Tommer1982: Ugh. I was messing with you, Georgie. Look, I gotta run. I’ll be on later and we’ll chat. Don’t do anything stupid ok?
PrezBush4Eva: DO I ever? NO! l8r g8r.
Tommer1982: *eye roll*